Telephone bill - this is a classy

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad:

People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid:

So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

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GENIUS AT SCRABBLE

The most aMaZiNg scrabbled words.........!!!

DILIP VENGSARKAR

When you rearrange the letters:

SPARKLING DRIVE

PRINCESS DIANA

When you rearrange the letters:

END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY

When you rearrange the letters:

NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROO M

ASTRONOMER

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

.

.

.

.

.

.

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

.

.

.

.

.

MOTHER-IN-LAW

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

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B+ Always

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"


Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"


Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"


Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.ok"




Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything. But your Attitude should be POSITIVE.

So B+ Always

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Stupid questions .. dumb answers

Stupid Questions and their Dumb Answers…


Most Stupid Questions People usually ask in 0bvious Situations


1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here…


2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-

No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.


3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…

Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??
Answer:-

No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask….

Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-

No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout…it’s just the money.


6. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping….you dumb witted moron.


7. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair….

Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-

No, its autumn and I’m shedding……


8. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-

No it wont. It will just bleed.


9. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…

Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-

Gosh, it’s a miracle ……..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

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